Well , it doesn't matter if I little bit 'curhat' in here , right ?
Oh , first sorry I do inactive my Facebook account because I don't know for what is active , totally useless hahahaha
we can still communicating in my MSN or send me text .
Okey ,
It is hard because I never pretend and I never laying with what I feel right now .
It's begin ,
In my simply night , and cannot slept well , I was thinking :
I'm tired of this sadness feeling .
but what can you say if a girl had a broken heart ?
Hurt , empty , dark , restless , hopeless , pessimistic and need more affection .
I was felt that .
I always asked to my self , what I did to Him ? Am I ever hurt Him ? I never mean hurt Him because I loved Him so much . Does He lose his fate about us ? Does He not love me anymore after we've laugh and get our quality time before He changes ?
Does He have another heart crush again ?
But after I pray and thinking again and again ,
I need a break from all this shity-darkness-side and need more color here .
I have many people who love US and push me into the goodness .
I realize this is lessons that we've learned.
And there is no regret because Im really blessed having Him before and now .
Many things that we did it's not simply as you blow your mind .
I should be more mature and understand.
I feel I lost my own self and can't understand who am I actually .
I want to back to 'me in 2008' :
Who me with no overloaded brain , who me with no need love's word .
And I know I no need a time , I just need Him .
So I won't force and I know He really really bored with me .I understand It is naturally .
And one thing I realize , what we thru now is BALANCE .
He taught me about balancing in this life .
Let He's on top now and I'm down bellow .
LET IT BE .
All I can do just waiting and believe .
Believes that He still keep me in His heart .
Paint me more color
So I will probably can't be move.